Best-Selling Author Visits Lynbrook Library

As a third grader is when Rachel Simmons first faced conflict with girls.

One girl convinced the other children not to play with her. It left a lasting impression that motivated Simmons to write her best-selling books.

Simmons, New York Times best-selling author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence, recently spoke to parents and girls, ages 10 -16, about getting the most out of friendships and staying true to oneself at the Get Real: An Interactive Workshop for Girls and Adults, held at the Lynbrook Public Library. The event, held Thursday, was presented by the Character Counts Committee of Lynbrook.

Simmons discussed ways for girls to express themselves with confidence and build healthy relationships in their lives with friends and parents. “I talk about the different ways that girls hurt each other and how to deal with it," she said. "I offer problem-solving tools.”

On a giant screen, Simmons showed pictures from her childhood and discussed why she has dedicated her life to working with young girls.

Andrea Duncliffe, co-chair of the Character Counts Committee of Lynbrook, said she was thrilled that Simmons spoke to the parents and teenage girls in an effort to encourage healthy and long lasting relationships.

“Rachel has such a great rapport with the girls," Duncliffe said. "The goal for this event is to reach out to the girl population and impart how important it is to be true to yourself and to build healthy relationships with girls and boys.”

Using humor, Simmons encouraged girls to implement the "No Joke Zone" (NJZ) into their lives.

“Let’s be clear that not all jokes are funny,” said Simmons. Asking the audience what their NJZ was, answers ranged from loving Justin Beiber to acne to their hair. “Anytime someone hits your No Joke Zone, say, 'Dude, that’s my NJZ,' and that person must apologize and move on to another subject.”

Simmons also recommended ways for young girls to communicate on the Internet and remain drama-free. “The Internet is a drama machine and there are ways to avoid drama online,” she said.

Those tips include not saying anything online you wouldn't say to another person's face, don't give anyone but your parents your Facebook password, and don't "yell" at people online using capital letters.

Eager to learn stronger parenting skills to build a better relationship with her daughter led Diane Campbell, of Lynbrook, to the workshop. “I am a parent of an 11-year-old girl and I want to be educated," she said. "There are times when my daughter wants to talk and sometimes she doesn’t. Girls can be complex sometimes. I came here for tools to help me build a better relationship.”

Effective communication is vital when it comes to talking to one another with confidence, and individuals must understand that damaging words will damage a relationship, Simmons explained.

During her presentation, Simmons invited girls to her Girls Leadership Institute camp this summer. Simmons is the co-founder and serves as a consultant to schools and organizations around the world.

Simmons graduated from Vassar College and is a Rhodes Scholarship recipient. She was the host of the recent PBS television special, "A Girl’s Life," and writes an advice blog for girls at TeenVogue.com.

Simmons has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and is a frequent contributor to The Today Show. Odd Girl Out was adapted into a highly acclaimed television movie on Lifetime.

For more information about Simmons, visit www.rachelsimmons.com.