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Health & Fitness

My Top 40 and the Domino Effect

Baby oil on the stairs to watch people fall, 100 loose crickets to cause a screaming stampede. What will come next? Luckily, I have an elevator key!

     In order to work on my “40 days,” I had to be nominated by a school as a substitute teacher. Since I had several friends teaching at a particular high school in Queens, I spoke with the secretary there. She got the paperwork going to secure my nomination. Because  my friend, I'll refer to her as "P," knew I was working towards certification in art, she'd call me whenever she was aware of an opening – sometimes 15 minutes before school was to start. In addition, I spoke with each teacher in the art department and asked them to specifically request me for their absences. All of them did.

     On my first day at the school, my husband dropped me off in front of the cold, tan building. I was nervous and wanted a little extra time to get settled. A group of angry teens thronged the top of the stairs. My hubby’s only question was, “Should I drop you off behind the ambulance, or the cop car?” I chose the ambulance figuring if I got injured on my way into work, I’d be that much closer to an EMT. Who knew that this would be an almost daily occurrence?   

     At $155 per day, rather than being free labor, I was a paid semi-professional. The art teachers allowed me to continue with their lessons, and in some cases teach my own. They truly started to trust me with their classes and knew their students were in capable hands. It was hard work getting 34 kids per class to listen to me. Sometimes getting through attendance would take 10 minutes because they were so loud and unsettled, at times running around the room or throwing various objects at each other, so no one could hear their names being called. If there were no art sub assignments that day, I would cover any class where there was a need.

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     My first sub assignment for this nomination was the last week of October 2009, and my last was in mid June 2010. I saw a lot of things happen in the school that I never thought should have or could have occurred in a school. I had students who passed out on the floor drunk, kids who used art supplies as weapons or projectiles, one young man who tore a phone out of my hands while I was dialing for help, and one day, two students who had earlier been arguing over a girl, passed each other in a hallway and one stabbed the other in his side.

     On a particular day, I covered a conflict resolution class. Immediately, upon the sound of the late bell, four fights broke out. Kids, some with ankle bracelets (they were referred to adoringly as Rikers-in-Training) tackled others. Some made attempts to shove a fellow student out of the 3rd floor window (luckily it didn’t open wide enough) while other cherubs were throwing desks and chairs. I went to call for help, but the phone in the room had been torn off the wall leaving a bunch of colored wires in its place. Luckily, as I tried in vain to restore order, a department head with a walkie-talkie happened by and called for backup. I was removed from the room for my own safety as deans and the police stormed the class. One “trainee” was arrested for threatening an officer and eight others were suspended. Their regular teacher, a long time acquaintance of mine, called me at home that night to apologize for what happened. He explained that a fellow dean was supposed to have taken over that class because they knew to bring fast food for the monsters every Friday, and I didn’t. It was assigned to me in error. Now, I know why there were always chicken bones on the hallway floors by this classroom…

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     Often kids would get jumped in the bathrooms for their iPods, cell phones, whatever gadget was in vogue at the moment, for their jackets, sneakers, or just for the hell of it. Some days there would be fights erupting down entire hallways which involved hundreds of students falling over like dominos. An accepted culture of violence permeated the staircases and classrooms. Bloom’s taxonomy, Gardner’s theories, and brain-based learning had not prepared me for this.

     Now I knew first hand why the "the city" pays more than anywhere else for subs. It was “battle pay” and I had just joined the war.

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